You know what? Breastfeeding can be really hard.
Of course, sometimes it can be really easy and natural and lovely right from the very beginning, with breasts that overflow with milky goodness and your baby never seems overly hungry and you never worry about your supply. But not always.
Sometimes, it never really feels terribly easy or natural, and instead is decidedly UNlovely. But not always.
Often, it takes time to get good at it. Breastfeeding sometimes (especially at first) feels like a lot of work, and it can make you resentful of the baby, or of people who don't breastfeed. It can make you cry and scream and be grouchy.
You wonder if you should just switch to formula and be done with it.
You wonder if your body will ever feel normal again.
You wonder if this baby even cares how hard you are working to feed it and take care of it.
You wonder if you're just misreading every single cue the baby throws out there.
You might even feel like you don't love your baby, that it's just a blobby little blob that doesn't do anything but cry and poop and eat and that's not what you signed up for. I'm speaking from experience.
But you know what else?
A lot of that happens regardless of how you feed your baby. Becoming a parent, whether it's for the first time or the Nth time, is scary and new and can be really crappy for a while.
Breastfeeding isn't a cure for that, and it's not a cause of that.
I say it's worth it. I've never felt more afraid and unworthy and unsure of myself than when I was having trouble breastfeeding my firstborn. His entire life, livelihood, his whole well-being depended on ME. Formula feeding was not an option.
We had to work very hard to get the breastfeeding thing down, but we did it.
And I never felt more in awe of myself, my body, and my child, than when it finally all clicked and we had it down.
I'm so glad that I didn't take the easy way out.
I'm glad that I am stubborn and hard-headed and refused to accept any answer except one that would help me be able to breastfeed.
I wanted the best for my son, because why should he be at risk for health problems or attachment problems or anything else in the future due to me? I created him, it is my responsibility to continue to help him be happy and healthy.
It's a weighty responsibility, but it's all worth it.
If you want to breastfeed, but you're struggling, take comfort. It's worth it.
Peace, love, and boobs, y'all!
If you're looking for breastfeeding support because you want to make it work, please contact me. I'd love to help you.